What will your kids do when they come face to face with pornography? Kids are spending more and more time online this year, and with increased internet use and less supervision, the chances that your child will stumble onto an explicit image is increasing – and that’s pretty bad, because it was already high. It’s been challenging for professionals to get a clear statistical picture of the average age of exposure to porn, but it is happening to at least half of 11 year-olds, and almost all children will see porn before their 18th birthday.
Porn is the new heroin. Only you don’t have to go to some shady part of Philly to get it. It’s right there on every tablet, computer, and smartphone, ready to access ALL.THE.TIME. Pornography exposure is happening at earlier ages and to more children than we can track and it carries grave risks. In my work in the 12-step recovery programs, I’ve heard story after story where early porn exposure changes the course of life for a man, driving him to addiction and self-loathing. Many of these victims of porn addiction add co-addictions to their lives in an attempt to numb the pain and shame that they carry. Viewing pornography creates harmful chemical responses in the brain, making it extremely easy for viewers to become seriously , and chemically, addicted.
It’s never too soon to start preparing your child for the battle against the poisonous pull of pornography. I asked my 9 year-old son to join me in this video to help parents see that talking to kids about porn and teaching them what to do doesn’t have to be uncomfortable or awkward. It is our job to protect our kids from this manifestation of evil, and we must take that duty seriously, and we cannot afford to procrastinate. Our kids’ brains need this training NOW.
Porn addiction is an epidemic.
For the first time since creation, droves of young men are becoming unable to engage in intimacy with their real, human partner because of the damage porn has caused their brain. Like every addiction, porn addiction is a family disease, and the user typically doesn’t realize the harm it causes to their loved ones until there is a “rock bottom” moment. Viagra and Cialis are prescribed to young married men who are trying to save their marriages from the destructive effects of pornography, and good, God-fearing men are being jailed for clicking down a rabbit hole of porn that lands them on illegal websites.
Viewing porn isn’t a victimless habit. It’s use harms individuals and communities by perpetuating negative patterns in our society and providing funding for the heinous crime of human trafficking and sex work. A man who thinks that viewing porn is no big deal because he is the only one involved may become convicted to seek help and change when confronted with the truth that his actions play a part in the kidnapping and abuse of thousands of little girls.
Help is available. As with any addiction, quitting on your own is near impossible, and attempting to go it alone typically leads to a cycle of relapses, potentially worsening the addiction and overall mental health. 12-step recovery programs provide the tools and accountability necessary to overcome this powerful addiction, and have proven results. The 12-step programs have saved thousands –possibly millions – of lives from the grips of all kinds of addictions and they will work for porn addicts too. Just ask Matt. If you are the parent of a teen, I highly recommend sharing Matt’s story with your child so that they can hear the truth about the dangers of porn from someone who lived it.
Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, the book that we discuss in the video, can be purchased here.
There is also a Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr. that is recommended for children ages 2-6 (but I have been reading the original version to my youngest since he was 5, so the age recommendations are definitely flexible).
Find a Celebrate Recovery program in your area and begin healing from the pain of pornography.
Charmaine Rusin 